In 2013 Sherry McGuire received a routine mammogram. Her results came back with a 2 cm tumor in her right breast. Invasive ductal carcinoma, a very small tumor for the type, she said.

“I always tell women breast cancer is very livable, very treatable if you discover it early,” she said. The lump was so small that she had no symptoms and could not feel it, even once she was told where the lump was located, it was undetectable through a self-exam, she said.

“I could almost feel it once I knew exactly where I was, almost,” she laughed. “But I never would have found it on my own. It probably would have spread quite a bit further if I had waited until I could feel it.”

McGuire, now an art teacher at Garfield and Lincoln, was 42 at the time and decided she wanted to be “really aggressive” with her treatment. At minimal, a lumpectomy had been recommended, she said. Along with the removal of six lymph nodes where the cancer had spread.

“They are pretty standard and a lot of women get those,” she said. “But are boobs really important? Everybody’s journey is their own and some people it’s fine and it won’t come back, but you just never know.”

Ultimately, it was the fear of having lumps return, only to have another (or more) removed led to her decision to have her breasts removed and to schedule a double mastectomy.

After undergoing 16 rounds of chemo, the surgery was scheduled with an oncologist, followed by a plastic surgeon who placed expanders in her then-empty chest pockets. The expanders, she said, work by gradually adding saline until reaching one’s desired size, then they are replaced with implants, which are positioned underneath the pectoral muscle.

“There is a lot of humor and jokes in our family,” she said of her spouse, adult children and now grandchildren. “It’s how we always are but it helped make this process easier too.”

For instance, joking about the “free breast lift,” the size of her chest, or just the process in general.

McGuire ended up choosing a size close to her natural proportion, 38 DDD. However, even though the dimensions were the same, what was under her skin was not.

“The first couple of years I thought ‘Oh I’ll get used to them,’” she said. Adding that the implants felt unnatural and cold; they never keep the warmth of her body. Once she tracked their temp with a thermometer. It didn’t even register the reading was so cold.

As the years went on, she began researching breast cancer survivors and their journeys with implants. Some women have adverse reactions – McGuire did not. Others have theirs removed through a process called aesthetic flat closure. It’s a process that not only removes the implants, but excess tissue in the area, and leaves only a smooth surface once healed.

“I just started looking up and researching. I’m a nerd and I started reading about other women getting theirs out.”

McGuire said she also learned that women with implants are more prone to anti-inflammatory disease and as her mother had lupus, it was one more reason to have them removed.

But there were multiple obstacles in her way. First, the surgeon who placed the implants did not share the same enthusiasm for removing them.

“He just totally belittled me for wanting to have them out and wanting to go flat,” she said. “I’m calm and laid back and I’m not a crier. But when I left I was so angry I cried for 15 minutes in the car before I went anywhere.”

McGuire soon found that this happens to women across the country with their breast cancer journey. In a movement known as flat denial, many surgeons refuse or reflect aesthetic flat closure. In part, she said she thinks it’s because the move is a last result. Because extra skin is lifted, women cannot have implants if they choose flat closure.

Next, she found a different surgeon. One she found through a support group where others have had the flat closure done. This doctor, she said, listened to her plan and reacted to her concerns.

“It was a really good two-way discussion between us,” she said. But then there was a different issue: her insurance. The removal would not be covered.

“I really had to dig to find out why they were denying my surgery,” she said. “It’s covered in so many states, but not Kansas, even the same companies are covering it in other places.” Ultimately, it’s the way Kansas interprets a revision, she said.

This meant a wait of two more years, with the cold implants she didn’t like, in order to save up the $8,000 out-of-pocket cost.

“Luckily I have a husband who is really supportive and understood my displeasure and he supported me all the way. Even when it was going to be on us financially,” she said.

After eight years, McGuire had the implants removed and completed her breast cancer journey with an aesthetic flat closure. Though some women choose to wear prosthetics, McGuire does not.

“It doesn’t bother me. I don’t think about it that often,” she said. Though there was an adjustment period, like the first time she jumped rope or put on a purse.

“I was like ‘Oh wow!’ I didn’t know how much your breast helped balance. It was like my shelf was gone,” she said. “But I just felt good about it.”

After the surgery she went through her wardrobe, throwing out V-necks, which didn’t look the same, she said. To accommodate she changed her style and some of the things she will wear.

However, the decision to remove was not one she came across lightly. Especially considering the permeant change of her body shape.

“[Breasts are] not necessarily your identity, but I was always know for it,” she said. “In high school there were nicknames and we had big boob jokes and all the sudden I’m not flat I’m concave so we have a whole new set of jokes now.”

Ultimately, though, the move was the right one for McGuire.

“It was a big decision to make but when it was done I was so happy and relieved. From the moment I had them out I just felt much more natural again. When I change my clothes every day I’m happy with what I see and I’m comfortable with what I see and it was the right choice for me.”