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Family gatherings sometimes take the joy out of the holiday season. Elaine Johannes, Kansas Health Foundation’s Distinguished Professor of Health Kansas State University, says family get togethers often become exercises in patience. Johannes and a colleague developed a Fact Sheet several years ago on Stress and the Family System. Johannes says one of the tips on how to handle family stress is to be prepared and have boundaries.

“The boundary is choosing connection over escalation, being thoughtful about what we say and how we say it. If a comment or argument starts to heat up the room, we can pause, breathe, and decide whether speaking up will help or make things worse. We can be honest when something is hurtful, but we don’t have to inflame the situation. Staying connected is more important,” said Johannes.

Strong support systems, such as family, friends, coworkers, faith groups, and community, help us handle stress, especially during tense holiday moments. Preparing for potential triggers, reflecting on our reactions, and staying curious about why conflicts happen all build resilience. By sharing experiences and learning from each other, communities grow stronger and more resilient together.

“Community health and community well-being is more than just who’s not getting their prescriptions filled. It’s about, do we have a civic voice? Do we feel belonging in this community?” said Johannes. “And in so doing, can we work to improve it? And that study got to that. Some of the articles coming out are showing that Americans do want to have dialogue.”

Johannes finds the survey results hopeful because it shows we want to be a community.

The K-State Research and Extension Fact Sheet, Stress and the Family System, is available through the KSRE Bookstore.

To learn more about managing stress, contact your local Extension office to find out about the programs they offer.